I Love Technology

The internet is a fabulous thing; it allows me to connect with old friends, make new friends with similiar interests, lets me buy stuff that you can't buy in box stores, and most of all, it gives you access to all of the zany antics of people on YouTube. YouTube has a seemingly inexhaustable supply of cool car videos. However, the other day I was watching the latest Ken Block Gymkhana video and YouTube put up a dialogue box that said "Support for your browser is being phased out, please upgrade to a more modern browser". WHAT?!? When did Windows2000 become old? Windows 3.1 is old. DOS is old.

That comment, coupled with the fact that my computer keeps getting slower and slower on a weekly basis has got me thinking about technology. We recently upgraded to a 20" LCD flatpanel monitor and a wireless optical mouse/keyboard combo, since the monitor was sporadically blacking out and the keyboard and mouse looked like they had spent the last 5 years as the primary terminal interface at a oil change place (the new black hardware hides dirt much better). Regardless, the new hardware still does not cover the fact that I am using an 8 year old computer with a 10+ year old operating system.

Technology should make a person's life simpler: Instead of walking or having a horse pull you 5 miles into town (which might take anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours), you can pop into your car and be there in 8 minutes. Likewise, instead of writing a letter and waiting for a multitude of disgruntled postal workers to shuffle it around for a few days, you can write an email and have it delivered in a matter of seconds/minutes.

Computer technology (email example aside) seems to exactly the opposite. However, its probably that I look at things from a hardware perspective instead of from the software perspective. One would think that software would become more efficient over time. The exact opposite is true; as hardware becomes faster, it allows programmers to create more gadgets and widgets that you never knew you needed. Take the Microsoft Word Help widget; that little paperclip guy will pop up and help you format any type of document. I bet he'd even help you write a Will. The same thing has happened in cars; who knew that you could program the dash to tell you what direction you were heading, as well as having two separate trip odometers? Remember when you pushed a button in the cluster to reset the counter, and you had to make sure you pushed hard enough to get that last number back to zero? I do, and I'm not that old. How about Sync? Your mobile phone used to occupy the space that your supersized soda now resides in. Instead, your cell phone hangs out in your pocket and lets your car's computer system upload your contacts, then you literally tell your car who you want to talk to.

So how has technology simplified our lives? Microsoft Word has made it so that proper letter and document formatting has become a sacred art kept alive only by English teachers (and apparently some group of computer programmers over in Redmond/Delhi-ish, Washingdia). We can just throw words onto a virtual paper, and it automatically organizes it so that the recepient doesn't think you're ignorant. Sync allows your work day to start 8:17AM and go all the way until 6:32 PM, even though your still only getting paid for 9 to 5. It also allows you to grab your latte (or aforementioned supersized soda) with your free hand that you'd normally use for holding your cell phone. It also allows you to be slightly less distracted as you grope blindly for your cell phone with the ringtone that was catchy last week, but now is just annoying and you just want it to stop. Wait, were we driving a car here? I had kind of forgotten.

Its obvious to me that technology has complicated our lives so much more than it has simplified it. Have you tried to read a cell phone contract lately? Its nice to have unlimited texting, unlimited data, and calling to 10 out of network numbers (as well as unlimited in-network calls, obviously [duh?]) all on one Portable Interaction Portal (PIP?). However, is it really practical? Cell phones started out for calling people, so their physical dimensions were dictated by the necessity to contain a numeric "touch-tone" keypad. As phones progressed, keyboards gradually "expanded" to include more buttons in the same physical space. My ape-like hands have a hard enough time punching out the 10 digits that I need to place a call. I certainly lack the dexterity to "text". At the same time that the keypad expanded, more information was being presented on the displays. Instead of having a 2 row, 25 character/row LCD display, cell phones now have 1080p. Unfortunately again, the physical dimensions have not increased significantly. Having never actually done so, I can only imagine browsing some of my favorite websites with a cell phone. There are things that would barely fit on my old 17" monitor...

So where do we stand? Let me put on my sarcastic socks and suggest something...a federal agency dedicated to filtering new ideas/equipment as they relate to society. The developer has to prove to the agency that a new piece of equipment/software either resolves a pressing societal issue, or is significantly better than an existing piece of technology that the new device is designed to compete with or replace. We'll call it the Department of Technology Advancement Oversight. That sounds terrible, right? The FDA is trying to do something similiar with pharmaceutical development, but that's slightly off-topic, so I'll leave it at that.

Seriously? There is a lot of technology out there that is beneficial, so don't take me as anti-technology. I have a cell phone with an integrated MP3 player. It combines two pieces of equipment that I wanted/needed, but couldn't justify spending the money on an iPod. That's simplifying; turning two pieces of equipment into one. Even the most gregarious people need time to collect themselves and their thoughts (to say nothing of my reclusive self); can you get away with turning your cell phone off while driving and focus on the road ahead? Connectivity has its draw-backs, as it allows people to catch you at your weaker moments. The Internet is a huge tabloid newspaper. Instead of merely focusing on the latest scandals rocking Hollywood or the lives of the rich and famous, it allows any interested party to dig up disparaging information on any person who has traipsed across its absorbant surface. We kind of forget that when we go off playing with our latest toys.

Ultimately, I blame Microsoft. They developed the Paperclip guy and Sync...